Tragically funny headlines

I chanced upon this terrible headline today, but what really amazed me was another article I read. Not only does it sound like the Cold War is back in full force, but it looks like the US will be bombing Iran as soon as next summer. I find it both incredible offensive, and terrifying.

Russia Creates Mightiest-ever Vacuum Bomb (MOSCOW. Sept 12 (Interfax-AVN)) [Honestly, what legitimate news organization uses words like "mightiest"]

U.S. develops 14-ton super bomb, bigger than Russian vacuum bomb (WASHINGTON, September 13 (RIA Novosti))

Excerpts :

McInerney described some possible military
campaign scenarios and said: “The one I favor the
most, of course, is an air campaign,” he continued.

He said that bombing would be launched by 65-70
stealth bombers and 400 bombers of other types.

“Forty-eight hours duration, hitting 2500 aimed
points to take out their [Iranian] nuclear
facilities, their air defense facilities, their
air force, their navy, their Shahab-3 retaliatory
missiles, and finally their command and control.
And then let the Iranian people take their
country back,” the general said describing the
campaign, adding it would be “easy.”

A Rude Awakening

The bathroom is beckoning, and I feel an urge to relive myself.

I come up to the door, painted yellow with red trim. It swings open for me, and and a sour-faced, grimacing George Dubya Bush pushes past me. The bathroom reeks, badly.

I lift the lid, and I’m hit with shock and awe, and even anger. The fucking president didn’t flush, and there’s a huge turd sitting in the bowl.

To top it off, there’s a miniature killer whale wiggling and making Orca noises amid the filth.

Bleh.